Near To You
by Damonficgirl
Summary: Reflections on Annie and Auggie's relationship from Season 1 to Season three post ep 3 , especially looking at how he helped her heal after Ben.


_**Near To You**_

_A/N: I rarely write songfic but I love this song and some of the lyrics fit Annie and Auggie so well. The lyrics are from __**Near to You**__ - A Fine Frenzy, reproduced for creative use only, no copyright infringement intended. WARNING SPOILERS FOR SEASON THREE (The first three eps)._

_**Such pain as this  
Shouldn't have to be experienced  
I'm still reeling from the loss,  
Still a little bit delirious  
**_**  
**_**Near to you, I am healing  
But it's taking so long  
'Cause though he's gone  
And you are wonderful  
It's hard to move on  
Yet, I'm better near to you.**_

Before Ben boys were fun, they were like lollies – sweet but not terribly important, they laughed at her jokes and light up at her smile, but they weren't something Annie Walker took seriously. She was young, independent and exploring the world and herself, she didn't need to be tied down.

When she fell in love with Ben on the beach in Sri Lanka it wasn't like she imagined picket fences and golden haired children to match her sisters. But he got under her skin. She imagined travelling with someone, deciding where to go next together. The idea of being tied to another individual didn't seem so bad when she looked into his deep brown eyes, it felt like they fit together and that being around him was the most natural thing in the world.

Then he disappeared and she was sure she was wrong, all of it was wrong, she should never have given up that fierce independence. She should have never entertained the idea of being limited by personal connections. Annie still went on dates, still smiled and flirted, but after Ben a little would remind her, be careful Annie, don't get too close, don't get hurt.

_**You and I have something different  
And I'm enjoying it cautiously  
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard  
To get back to who I used to be  
**_

Maybe it was because he was blind, or maybe it was because of his disarming geeky charm, or maybe it was because he was a co-worker and she had no intention of fraternizing with him, but whatever the reason Annie let down her guard when Auggie Anderson walked into her life.

At first Auggie was a guidepost, someone to lean on, then he was a friend, someone to confide in, someone who understood, someone who made her laugh. She didn't have to be careful around him because he acknowledged her beauty – though he couldn't see it – but never made a serious play for it. Instead they had a warm playful chemistry that felt safe, and Annie needed that. She needed to know that men weren't the enemy and that it was possible to care about a member of the opposite sex and not get burned.

Slowly the sense of fragility that Annie hid so well was dissolving as her job at the agency and her friendship with Auggie empowered Annie to see that there was life after Ben. Sure it threw her through a loop when he popped back into her life, but she was able to move on because of Auggie and because she wasn't that vulnerable girl on the beach anymore. She could tell the good guys from the bad and Auggie was the best kind of man and Ben just wasn't that impressive anymore.

_**He's disappearing  
Fading suddenly  
I'm so close to being yours  
Won't you stay with me  
Please**_

She wasn't sure when it happened. But somehow as the marks that Ben had left burned into her psyche faded Annie discovered, little by little, that she was Auggie's in more ways than he knew. Sure he knew that she was faithful and loyal, a true friend, but there was more than that. When Auggie announced he was going to ask Parker to marry him Annie wanted more than anything to ask him to say with her, and be hers, but she couldn't do that.

She might be over Ben, but she knew that if Auggie Anderson broke her heart there would be no coming back from that, she would destroy the most important relationship in her life outside of her sisterhood with Danielle, and even that relationship had limits that her friendship with Auggie didn't. Auggie understood her in ways that Danielle couldn't. Auggie had her back. He had her heart as well but she couldn't tell him, not when he was in love with Parker, she wasn't even sure she believed that he was, she wanted to believe he was just getting caught up in the emotional tidal wave if Jai's death but either way it was enough to be in Auggie's life, so Annie would let Parker in, but if Parker ever hurt Auggie, God help her, Annie would be coming for her.


End file.
